Five Little Ducks Went Out One Day...

Five little ducks went out one day, over the hill and far away, Mama Duck said “Quack, quack, quack, quack.” And every day they’d return back, minus one. So where did they go?
People had some theories…

"To the Eat-A-Duck restaurant?"
"They went for a feed?"
"For a swim..Yep definitely!"
"Ummm...is that a trick question?"

But after hearing so many theories on where we (the five little ducks) went off to those days, I took it upon myself, as the oldest, to let everyone know the truth.
First of all my name is Daffein or "Daffy".
Like I said, I am the oldest, but there was also Denny, Dilbert, Dani and the youngest duckling, Rubber. I guess Mama Duck ran out of names that started with D.
It really began when we were invited to Old McDonald the farmer's Party, which he was throwing for Percy the Pig because Percy won the "Fattest Pig on The Market" competiton.We all knew he would win, after all he ate like a pig, no pun intended.
So I asked Mama Duck if we could go, but being the anti-social duck she was she said, "NO!"
I couldn’t believe it, this was the party of the year and only the hottest and coolest animals were going to attend. She just didn't understand that the cutest/hottest duck in town, Donald, was going to be there as well and I had to get to him before Daisy Duck made her move.

What do I have against Daisy Duck you ask? Well it all started at the auditions for the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, she got the part because I could’t audition because my mother started quacking for our usual morning walks. And the fact that her double D’s that won her the role, if only they knew how fake they were, but that’s another story for another day.

So we all devised a plan to get our ducktails to the party, agreeing that since I was the oldest I got to go first, and I would be damned if I got there to find Daisy all hugged up with my duck, sometimes I wondered just who she thought she was. Basically the plan was for us to each sneak away, one day at a time, considering the party was a two-week long event. My day went off without a hitch,

"Quack... Quack...Quack...Get your lazy behinds up, and breathe in the smell of a new day!!" Mama Duck's early morning quacking, for our early morning walks which no one liked, made us all groan in protest. Who in their right mind would want to go for a walk in the early morning cold? But just like every other day, Mama Duck called us out for our usual routine walk, 'boring' was all I could say to that.
Why were we always walking? Couldn't she teach us how to fly? Or at least give our morning walks a purpose, it was always aimless walking with no destination. Why couldn't we go see Uncle Scrooge, or our cousin Hideousa the Ugly Duckling, who only came out once in a blue moon?
Like damn!
So on this particular walk, as we had planned, when we went over the hill and far away, I broke away from Denny, Dilbert, Dani and the youngest duckling, Rubber and waddled like mad towards Old McDonald's farm, right across the lake with my brothers and sisters quacking their good wishes.
I just knew that when Mama Duck called "Quack..Quack..Quack..Quack" only four little ducks would go back.
But I didn't care, because day one of the party was a jump off, and you already could tell it was going to be the social event of the year, and the best part was the fact that I was part of it.
As we planned, everyday one of my siblings would stray away from the walks and come to the party. Leaving our inhibitions behind to have some 'real' fun, we'd eventually return to Mama Duck, and she'd be too happy to see us all back safe and sound to really grill us about where we'd been after all 'what mama don't know won't hurt her ..right?'

At the end of the 2 weeks, my brothers and sisters and I were ready to head back home. I hadn’t gotten the chance to see Donald because he was all hugged up with some tramp, and if I ever find out who she was, I resolved to beat her ass.

When Mother Duck called “Quack…Quack…Quack…Quack.” We, her 5 little Ducks, actually came back. We were back with Mama Duck, and to our surprise Percy the Pig was on the spit ready to be eaten for Sundays roast. I think Mama knew where we went after all.